Sigh. I just don't get it. I wasn't looking for anyone. I was content getting to a happy place without anybody. Then he comes along out of nowhere and changes my plan for awhile. Not for too long, but long enough to be upset about the outcome. I don't understand why I always pick the ones that need their heads cleared. It's bothersome that I'm attracted to people who I don't need in my life to confuse it more.

So yes. Broken up with. When I had no expectations about having a boyfriend in a long ass time. And I'm not going to lie, it hurts. Not so much anymore, as it happened Wednesday and it was so short-lived.

I didn't even get a chance to get to know him.


But, this tells me something. I needn't bother with boys. Not right now at least.

Spring break 2k7!

Gossip

So it seems that this whole ex-boyfriend debacle is the new topic of discussion in this little town of mine. Everyone, understandably, wants to know whats going on and why somebody was trying to fight a friend. But it's taking a toll on my spirit. I already have enough to worry about with trying not to fail all of my classes and trying to make some money at work without having to hear people I've never met talk about the entire episode.

It's making my head hurt, honestly.

I still can't believe that it happened. And I'm sure everyone is curious. I would be too. But its been days and I can't handle listening anymore.

Not to mention he keeps calling me to talk things through. When there is nothing to talk about. He's making me apprehensive.

I may have to change my phone number. Holy Jesus.

On a peppier note, Spring break is approaching. And I'm stoooooked.

I need to smoke sometime in the near future. I'm edgy as shit.

Throwing punches.

Man oh man. I'm about to do alot of writing. This story can be pretty riveting, or least that's what I've heard. So this is my life. Hope it's as entertaining for you as it is to everyone else. Sheesh.

Saturday night I went out to watch some friend's bands play downtown. I knew that the ex was going to be there. And I braced myself. I said hi to him. I was polite. Later on, the new boy comes to the show after work. We're standing around and out of nowhere, the ex wipes a snot rocket on my jacket. Shocked and annoyed I went to the bathroom to clean up. And while I'm gone, Ryan (yay) confronts Jeff (nay) and tells him he should apologize and that's no way to treat anyone, even an ex girlfriend. Jeff doesn't know who Ryan is, so he says things like "you don't even know about us, you don't know what she's done to me, etc." Ryan ends up walking away as he can tell nothing is getting through to Jeff.

Jeff is stupid drunk at this point. And walks up to me a few minutes later, gets in my face, calls me a peice of shit, yells at me asking if this is my new boyfriend, and then proceeds to try and throw a punch at Ryan. Ridiculous. So, people stop him and get in the way. Friends of both Ryan and I.

The night continues being awkward. I can see Jeff scowling. So we leave. And he follows us out. And again tried to pick a fight with Ryan. Flailing his arms, a friend stepped in. And punched him. And Jeff still would not let up. He ended up leaving because some cops drove past. INSANE.

I did nothing to provoke this. I can't believe this happened to me. I would never have thought a year ago that this person I cared about so much could behave in this manner. If you are heartbroken, beer and whiskey is probably a bad idea.

Now, it feels like high school. Because the ex's "buddies" (whom I always liked) are threatening the beau's friends. The ones that intervened because some idiot was getting in a girl's face. I just don't know what to do. I'm in the middle of this scenario, trying not to freak out and punch someone myself.

I am just stunned. If you cannot conduct yourself appropriately in public, you shouldn't go out. Simple as that.

I don't know what to do.


And I need to make this bloggy prettier than it is.

Zelda

I'm sitting here watching Ryan play Zelda. I can't help but be amused by it. He's a wolf, apparently. He used to be a human until he got sucked into this level (or something) and now he's a wolf.

And after reading my last post, he informed me that neither I (nor he for that matter) is a "generation x-er".

I was way off.

I'm feeling much better. I talked to some people and they just listened and made suggestions about what I need to do to feel better about my situation. Sigh. I feel so weakened by all this. Like I might not be able to come out triumphant. I will try to endure. But it's definitely going to take a toll.

Last week I got started on the anchor tattoo on the right side of my torso. It's large. And in charge. In a week or two I'm getting it colored in. I'm sooooo psyched about it. I've been wanting to get this done, something for my grandparents, forever. And I never realized that loving people so much could hurt that bad. But they're with me until I'm with them again one day. Now, literally. And I couldn't be happier. (Pictures soon.)

I suppose I have to start living again tomorrow. School and work. Back in full force. And it's pretty depressing. But I have to stay motivated. Or else I'm headed for another breakdown. Geez Louise.

Noteworthy : Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out July 21. I'm counting down the days.

And 300 comes out a week from tomorrow. Cream my jeans.

Love to Miss Amber
who always makes me smile.

Have a lovely weekend.